Looking back. (Year end Special)

Every year, before the clock strikes to midnight, to bid goodbye to another year and to say hello to a new one, I look back and somehow try to say thank you to people, things and experiences I had may it be good or bad. 2012 has been good to me. Really. I have to say it's one of the best years I had so far. and fortunately, my years are starting to get better and better. :)

January: Thank You for giving me a fresh start. To grab more opportunities, to learn from my mistakes in the past years, to meet new friends, and just to live life the way it should be. Many times I've been complaining how exhausting my job can be but still You gave me the strength to wake up each morning todo what has to be done. Thank You for giving me a chance to meet people who taught me so much about life. For new friends that I can always turn to, for the old ones that stayed.

February: Ah... the month of Love. it was a bit disappointing, my Valentine still lives in the other side of the planet and well, can't spend the day with me. I'm still thankful that You gave me someone that can actually understand how insane I am. For letting me love someone wholeheartedly... never expecting to be loved this much as well. I know you have plans for us. That one time to be together permanently will come in Your time. I know it will because You my Lord you know what's for me.

March: To say Goodbye to friends and people who you knew cared for you as well is a bit sad. But I don't believe in goodbyes. The month I left my job to wander in another country. To see my bestfriend and her cute daughter, to be with my love of my life. The moment I saw him waiting for me at the airport as I clumsily push my cart, was the most wonderful feeling in the whole world. Its as if a weight has been lifted. All the sadness and longing in the past month didn't matter anymore because I'm seeing him with my own eyes and not just in the screen. The pain of the fact that you can't holding hi  at night when you're scared didn't matter because he's holding your hand. What mattered is that moment. I felt infinite.

April - May: It was nice to see different places, to do things you haven't done before, to go to places you've never been to. To have new friends. It's a difeerent life in the US. I know for a fact that I'm not really staying at all but it felt like I'm going to. I must say that I kinda learned how to be independent while I was there. That I have to clean after myself, to clean my room everyday, to have my laundry done every two weeks, Jeff even taught me how to cook. I learned how to change dirty diapers, to make a baby sleep. lots. oh. There was one time that I get to drive in the US. and it was way way way too different from here. totally. During those months I missed home. I miss my mother's voice shouting, my siblings fighting over whatever that is, my father, my cat. My room, my bed. My friends back home. yeah, I'm homesick. and the funny thing is, I'm going home anyway.

June: Just like last year, I get to spend it with Jeff. and this time I got really really sick prolly because of the weather. It was different. I've never felt that sick my entire life. not that I can recall. I can't sleep at night because I'm coughing non stop. I get chills. Jeff had to go to the drugstore to get me meds, I was sick for a month I think. One maybe because I decided to quit smoking. Withdrawal symptoms started to happened or something. Like always, I don't want my birthdays to be extravagant. I'm good with a few bottles of liquor and a little company. Jeff took me to out on a date. something we never really get to do since we always have the Facetime dates. I'm thankful for that. I'm really lucky to have him to take care of me even when I'm sick. To make me happy with the smallest of things. I'm such a lucky bitch.

July: His Birthday month. We get to celebrate it with his family and some friends. It's really fun considering Me going home the next month. He's unaware but every night, I have trouble sleeping because I'm getting all sad knowing that I'm not really staying and we to go back to our normal lives, living in different timezones. I tried to show him that it's fine but there are times that I just break down and cry.

August: Probably the saddest month of the year. My Grandes Vacances in California is about to end. here I cry every single night, I get nightmares, I get quiet, paranoid. A part of me wants to go home because of my family and friends but most part of me wants to stay with him. We had a long talk about it though which is the right thing to do. I can't stop crying at the airport til i got to HongKong. I'm pretty sure the guys next to me on the plane is confuse. or maybe thought i was stupid. I really don't want to go home. But I have to.

September - October - November: I call this the bum days. Literally. Okay, I was jet lagged and too depressed to go out of the house. I spent these months talking to my boyfriend hoping that some magic can make me go back in Milpitas. But I have to get my visa renewed thou... so boo.

December: Now this is better, the time I got hired for a position in a soon to open hotel and casino in Manila. well, I'm to be a receptionist for an Italian fine dining restaurant. Now, if you would ask me if I have any experience, the answer is not at all. What I know is some blah blahs in customer service. I'm still thankful they accepted me. I'm willing to go on training which will happen by the end of January next year. the hotel is to open on March. I just hope by that time, I know what to do. This month I also realize that my grand plans of having another vacation in the US will come to a halt since they refused to give me a visa. Ask the US consul, I'm still at loss why they did that. So I'm nagging Jeff to go here in manila, well, to spend time with his girlfriend. Then the alcoholic days began, and poof! I'm drunk. and that's what I do best.

2012 was really a blur for me since I spend it away from my usual environment but I'm very glad I did. I have no regrets on quitting my job and spending almost half a year doing my boyfriend's laundry in return of shopping non stop. I didn't regret of losing $400 in Vegas because I get to play in the snow. FOR THE FIRST FUCKING TIME. I'm still pissed about the visa thing but I'm still thankful 'cause I get to spend time with my boyfriend and had the chance to know him more. Now I am very sure that I want to spend my life with him. I don't mind spending 3 months being a bum cause I'm going to start a new job that pays a lot better than the previous one.

I'm not really sure what 2013 has in store for me, but I'm ready.

here's my middle finger, BRING IT ON!

Hey You! Yeah, You!

Apparently, I am. *applause* I have to apologize especially to myself since I've been kinda lazy... Not kinda, I really am lazy. It's been almost 2 months since I last wrote. So that means, the family's computer's been down for quite sometime now. I really have to get that fixed.

NEWS. NEWS. NEWS.

For the latest, I am still unemployed. Well, about the last post... That job my father asked to squished me in, well. I sort of got it. *screams like a crazy person* I'm gonna be a Restaurant Hostess in an Italian outlet and I'll start training next year. I already have the contract with me and I must say.... It's a lot better than the last job I had. But really I'm thankful.

I don't think I'll be going back to the US of A anytime soon. I'm giving myself a year or two here before actually moving there for good. I told my mom about it and she supports my decisions but asked me to stay for a least a year to pull myself together. And besides I need to save some money. I'm 24 and unemployed. I only have less than 5,000 pesos in my wallet. I have no bank accounts whatsoever and I still live with my parents so that's kinda embarrassing.

Today's the 23rd and that marks our 27th month being together well not really. Right now, Bibi is with his friends prolly getting drunk with Tequila and Whisky. If you ask me how am I doing about being back here and him being there, well, I'm doing okay. I don't miss him that much anymore. Maybe at night when it's cold and dark and I need a teddy bear hug. We both know that eventually we'll find a way to be together even if it means of me going to the US Embassy and get my Fiancée visa. We have plans, but for now... We need $$$$$. And lots and lots of it. He's thinking of going here next year... Prolly on my birthday. A two to three week vacation sounds good. And that would depend on his work. So I hope, he gets a good three weeks worth of vacation. We always want to go to Cebu.

These past few weeks a lot has happened in this house which made me even close to my family especially to my mom. I realized that I can't really leave just yet. I still have some unfinished business and a lot of things to work out. But all in all, I'm still thankful that despite the hardships, we still manage to become as one.

Christmas Time is coming... The year's about to end. I've got no regrets this ear, actually it's one of the best years I had so far. I don't know what lies ahead on 2013, but I'm ready.

Ciao!

Still holding on. :)

Ten more days. I'm pretty excited. :) Oh by the way, did I mention that he's my longest relationship? Well, isn't it obvious? (LOL) but seriously, he is. One year and eight months was the second longest. But enough about that! Let's talk about "the day".

We really don't have plans yet but I'm pretty sure we would end up drinking and chatting over FaceTime like we always do on special occasions. There not much to do. Maybe I'll just come up with something just for a change. I can check some LDR forums on the Internet just to give some ideas. Oh, I totally forgot. I was planning to send him a card. Maybe I'll just drop by the mall to get him something. Well, I wanted to give him something special. It's our second anniversary anyway. Maybe some of my lingerie? Err no.

I feel fine. The crying totally stopped. I still miss him and its just natural for me to feel that way. Good thing Apple came up with FaceTime. I hated how slow Skype is. Though we used Skype and Ymessenger before. I wonder how couple handled everything way back when there's no Internet or telephone yet? Do they exchange dirty talks on the mail? Wow. That would be very weird.

He's still sleeping. It's around eight in the morning. I should wake him up anytime soon. He needs to study.

A Day In The Life: Renewing a Philippine Driver's License (Part 2)

...and this is it.

The Miss bibo-kid in me reigned so I was able to wake up early today. 7am is early for me so don't argue. So there I was running late. I wanted to get to the office at 8 in the morning, I don't wanna fall in line plus, I haven't got any breakfast yet. I arrived in the Renewal Center (or whatever you call that place) at around 8:30. Like what I read yesterday, You need to fill out a form then to the drug testing. pay the fee... blah... blah... There's a line, Like 5 people before me. It was swift actually. It wasn't so bad until it's my turn for my urine sample. Not being a fan of water and other fluids, I wasn't able to fill the bottle! That's fine I guess. But I had to get myself a 20 pesos worth of water that they sell on the site. (Why not free? boo.) I had to wait another 30minutes just to pee. Well, during the wait, I had medical so that's okay. I think I lost about 30mins of my waiting time. After I got all the documents I needed, I went immediately to LTO. It took me less than an hour to process my actual license. (a round of applause please) Everything took and hour and a half which is great.

I'm kinda disappointed with my picture though. I'm like making pa-cute. So I have to wait another three years to get this replaced.

and since I finished early, I met up with my mom to have our hair colored. I chose the red violet just because. I'm having a weird phase and I want anything red. I have no idea if it's going to look good on me so just figure it out.

I still look normal though. I need a new webcam. =)

And I got new books too! I saw this Star Wars book at Booksale and remembered my boyfriend loves Star Wars. He's not really a fan of books but maybe he'll consider reading this one. I haven't really started reading it. Apparently, this one is the continuation of the final installment of the series: The Return of the Jedi. and I got the first volume. I hope I can find the next one. Been planning to collect Star Wars novels. A good investment I guess. :) The Vagina Monologues. Yes, I've been wanting to watch the broadway they had here before but I've got no time. When I stumbled on this book earlier, I couldn't get my eyes off it. I needed to buy it. Reading it right now and I must say, it's very enlightening. =)

So there. I guess, I've got to go back on my reading now.

A day in the life: Renewing a Philippine Driver's License.

Today I wished I'm living in the US. I found out that a month before your license expires, they will send you through mail a copy of your driver's license. No need to go to your nearest DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) wait in line... If there's one. DMV is LTO (Land Transportation Office) in the Philippines. It's very convenient for busy people like me who spends their life lounging in the couch and watching cooking shows. But seriously, I wish I was living in the States.

Going back, last night I was in the net trying to find out where the nearest Renewing office in the Muntinlupa Area. I found out that there's two. One near SM Muntinlupa and the other at ATC. I figured out that I can go to ATC since I'm going to have my film rolls developed too. I also search the to dos and what to bring. I need my old license with the original receipt, I also have to undergo another drug testing and an extra government issue ID... Just in case. How the thing works is exactly in this order. You go and fill up the LTO form, get drug tested, have your picture taken, pay the fee and the penalties if you have one. In my case, I have to pay extra since my license is expired since June. And then, you wait until your new license is released. Simple huh? But the problem is... The queue you have to be in when you get there. And pray that their computer's not down. Or else.

I wanted to go early in the morning to get first in the line but I woke up at 10:30 AM. There goes my plan. I'm not a morning person, you know.

So I shall try again tomorrow.

What's worse than getting a long line in a Government office? It's waking up really late.

General Cleaning.

Had the strength to clean my room today. Been itching to dump old makeup, body and hair products that sat on my shelves all these years. I'm not even using them! I also kept some stuff from way back. I wanted to make room for my books since I changed my room. I asked my mom to remove the big shelf on my wall and just put mini shelves. it was actually a wrong move since it took a lot of space in my room.

I really need a vanity table/dresser whatever. I can't make room for girl stuff.

Currently.

So here's what I've been doing this past few days. . 

Visit my site here.

The countdown starts..

I only have a month to go then I'll be heading back to Manila. There goes my plans of staying here for good. The parents asked me to go back so they can re-new their US visa. So I can too. They told me I can always go back once I got a new visa. Come to think of it, I've got nothing to do here so why waste time doing nothing? I can't even work here. But to be honest, since I'm staying away from home, I learn to quite few things. The boyfriend taught me how to cook, I do his laundry and mine every two weeks (or whenever I need a new set of undies), I learn to change soiled diapers (my bestfriend has a one year old tot now) that's just some of the things but basically I learned how to do things on my own. I felt like I can be organized not only at work. hihihi.. I'm a bit O-C at my workplace.

I wonder... when I get home, it's gonna be back to normal. I'm going to be that boring person again going out every afternoon to the mall getting Takoyaki and Yakisoba. Drinking Tanduay Ice every other night while munching on chicharong bulaklak. I'll be that boring girl waiting for her Ipad to ring. I'll stay up all night just to wait for him to wake up. There's that time difference again. <I'm hearing Simple Plan's song in the background>

Been doing mental plans for that day too. On what to do when I get back home. I'm planning to get some stuff so I can decorate my room. Thinking of what to do during my free time. maybe some books. <sigh>

Maybe I'll go road tripping? I don't know. Maybe get a job? hehehe.

I don't really wanna go home. everyone knows that. I'm trying to be optimistic by thinking that when I go home, I can pimp my room. Thinking that I can hang out with my friends again. That I can have kwek kwek and Takoyaki with that cold Tanduay Ice. I don't want to but I have to. That's two different things I guess.

Jeff and I have plans of living together and we need to straighten out some things. sa madaling salita, kailangan namin ng pera. Like business we need capital to start a life. So basically that's the reason why I have to go home. While I'm here he can't save money (lalo na ako... bilmoko ako e) and I can't get a job here anyway..  so yeah.. that's the reason..  14.2


I hope everything will be better. We'll be apart for I don't know how long... and I am not sure what it'll do for me. Hope it won't last long. 

What's it like?

So, the last time I wrote about me being away from home was like 3 months ago. next month I'll be heading back home. back to my usual lifestyle. But until the plane I'm taking gets here, I shall make the most out of it. I've kinda adjusted here. But to be frank, I'm still a sissy when it comes to talking to strangers, from the neighbors to the Vietnamese girl at Lee's Sandwiches. I am not even sure if she's Vietnamese! I don't know, maybe that what's wrong with me. I am really shy. okay. But i'm aside from that I'm doing just fine.

I've been making mental plans about how to get through life for the next few months because I'm pretty sure it's going to be a long long long wait for me to get my ass back here. To be honest, yeah... I have plans of staying here for good. COME ON! this is America for crying out loud. who wouldn't want to live here if they have a chance? 

It's just that right now, I feel really sad at the thought of living away from him for the next i-don't-know-and-i-have-no-idea-how-long x number of months. If my visa application will go smoothly maybe by the middle of next year. But I am positive that I won't be able to celebrate Christmas here. 

But for now, it's time to watch another movie. 

Sigh.

Been staying here for a month now. I'm not really sure how long I'm staying here. If the plans push through, I'll be home ASAP. I miss home actually. I miss work, I miss my friends, my family. I can always go out to the mall whenever I wanted to. Here, I have to ask the boyfriend to drive me to the nearest Wal-mart store just to get shampoo. And that sari-sari store near my house where I can get cigarette by the stick.

Life here is really different. Maybe I'm just homesick. I'm not used to being alone in the house every afternoon. The house is dead quiet in the midday. you have to cook your own meals if you're hungry. you do you're own laundry, you have to clean after yourself. you're on your own when you're in the US.

i really miss home.

so what's up? currently having a vacation. i'm jobless, almost out of money but I'm fine. The father sent me a hefty amount of money not for me but to get things for him and the family. They're not aware that I'm not going home with the stuffs though. I'll sent it via cargo. I wonder what will happen next.

mygahd. i am not in the mood. fuck that shit.

Looking back to College.

I miss a lot of things. It's just been a year. But it feels like a very long time. It's been six years ago. That was the first time I felt freedom. My parents had to pay a driver to get me to and from school way back in Highschool. Sure I can go with a school bus but Mom doesn't like the idea of me getting late because I'm the last stop.

When it was time for me to be on my own, the feeling's exhilarating. I didn't get to have a dorm like most of my classmates, I can get by commuting everyday.... and I love bus rides.

I miss everything College. Pep Rally when UAAP Season opens,  When I get to eat anywhere because I can go out of campus for lunch breaks, switching rooms every class and having a different set of classmates on each one of them, getting drunk on Friday nights, school tours, seminar, free cuts, school programs, holidays means no school days, term breaks, summer vacations, and everything has to do with studying.

When you finally get a job, that's when your life starts. Back then I told myself, "By the time I reach 25, that's when I'll earn my first million." Well, I'm 23 now. turning 24 in 6 months. and I have 4,500 pesos in my savings. I don't even have a saving account! I sometimes feel sorry for myself. I could've given my best. I should've focused more in studying. I could've listen more. But in the end, everything was my decision. I decided to drop out of college, it was decision to take on a different degree. Every night that I got drunk/stoned/slushed/wasted was my decision. And I'm not regretting any of it. If those things never happened, I wouldn't be this wiser. I may not earn my first million in half a year, but I am very positive that I'm going to have the life I've always dreamed of.

and by the time I reached 50, I'm in Prada admiring the beauty of Europe. =) 

Back when I can still join a beer drinking contest.
When all I can think of is boys, alcohol and whether to go to class
or not.
(I'm the one in a Khaki cargo)

i don't feel like going to work tomorrow.

I'm here in my room, it's dusk and I'm in a dilemma whether to do something productive or just lay here in my bed and do nothing. We just finished watching The Exorcist. Juvi called me up to tell me that I'm on a mid-shift at work tomorrow since she has to go to the agency tomorrow for her work in Singapore. I really feel happy for her. I mean come on, every one wants to work abroad. Sabi nga nila, mas may future tayo sa labas ng Pilipinas.