Wednesday, May 2

First of May.

I don't know if i'm doing the right thing. I wish I am. i am about to do something really really hard. i know I'm not doing this alone because he's with me. But come to think of it, I've never been away from my parents for so long. it's been a month. My father is expecting me to go home by the end of this month. But I know that will never happen. I may have to stay here for the next six months. and once i am allowed to go, I will go home. I have to apologize. I really don't want to do this to them. but for Jeff, it's the only way for us to be together. It's just we don't want to wait for another year.

to tell you frankly, i'm scared. really scared. I'm thinking that we're not ready for this change. we may be physically and emotionally ready. but financially, I don't think we're not. would it matter? I know it does. 

I just hope he pass his exams. so he can get a regular job. that way, he can save money. he'll be able to support me for the mean time since i don't have a job yet. but when I get myself a good job, that's a different story. :) 

that's it for now.