There's still you.

It's been a year and there's this void, a black hole that pulls me and think back what could've been. When I think of you, there's a sharp pain in my chest that quickly subsides. My stomach turns, I feel light headed. It's really weird how you make me feel even after all this time. You have such effect that stops me, that somehow breaks every little piece of me.

You have no idea.

I sometimes don't know what to do with my life. I wake up in the morning, go to work, go home tired, go out with my friends when I have the chance. I drink when I got the chance. I splurge when there's a chance.

There's something missing.

naaaa.. I'm just bored.

OMG!

GET ME THIS GOWN ON MY WEDDING DAY!!!!!!!! 

I'm not a bitch. but I killed you in my head so many times.

I'm not very hard to deal with. In fact, it's me who is having a hard time relating to other people. Maybe it's me being passive and negative and somehow perfectionist nature that makes people intimidated by my presence. (I am making no sense here) If you get to know me, I'm a generally happy person who loves to talk and tell stories about my life on how messed up my love life is. In short, I'm nice. really.

But there's one thing that pisses me off. You may call it a pet peeve. Basta, it is something I really hate and would ruin my day even if you give me Finestra's Veal Cutlet Milanese. You know what that is? As shallow as it may get... I hate dumb people. You would like them anyway? People who do not use their brain. Not even half of it. People who asks questions not even bothering if it's even a right question. I know... I know... It's not bad to ask questions. Why would you even ask something you already know? Common Sense. That's something people around these days don't use. I can forgive Filipino drivers who do not use their signal lights when turning... (But really, that pisses me off too)

Alright enough.

Today was a god/bad/fine/fucked up/alright day for me. I'm hanging on.

Okay.. I have to call the boyfriend now.

*Face Palm*

So today's been a good day for work. Didn't have much to do aside from the fact that I'm alone in the reception. It's fine by me. I'm used to it now. On my way home after work, my co-worker Rennel was with me since I can drop him off somewhere in EDSA which happens every time we're on the same shift. I was alone driving going to Magallanes when a man in blue shirt and shorts stopped me. Patay. I knew I was in trouble. I tried to remember what I did seconds before. I didn't swerve, cut or whatever. but why??? I'm not even on color coding. It's Wednesday night. I'm pretty sure I can drive on Wednesday night. I pulled over, opened my window and smile to Mr. MMDA person. I even politely asked what's wrong. Then it hit me, I don't have my license plate yet. Apparently there's a No Plate, No Travel policy that's been circulating since Monday which no one told me.. not even my parents. So I panicked. I asked how much will be the penalty. He told me that it's two thousand something (I really don't remember at all) I asked if I can pay it through bank... he said no. and I ask if I can get my license back after the gives me the ticket. He said no. MY MIND WHEN CRAZY. I wanted to hit the gas and get out of there but I know I can't because I'm in the Philippines and it's seven in the evening and I'm in freaking EDSA! I asked the MMDA guy for options. I don't want to get my license confiscated. I don't want to commute to work. ewwwwwww.. So he suggested that I pay their percentage or whatever you call it that's around one thousand five hundred. I told him I don't have money with me. I even show him my wallet that contained less than a five hundred pesos. I can pay him with such amount if I can go to the nearest ATM and withdraw. but the nearest one is in Magallanes.

So what I did.. I called my Father to ask help. He talked to the guy and that's it! I don't know what he told him... maybe I'll ask when he comes home. But after call, the MMDA person let me go. Is my Dad like Chuck Norris or Liam Neeson (in Taken) or something? But the Enforcer did ask some money ... extortion huh? I know. I could've called the police to report but nahhhh... I don't want to be in the news. and besides, the mere fact that he pulled me over was a huge hassle for me. I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm sleepy. I have no time to explain that I don't have my license plate because the LTO cannot issue one as of the moment.

I just need to rest.

all of that drama could have been avoided if I showed this letter.

and maybe.. just maybe... I'm not making this senseless story anymore! 

I am sorry to waste your time. 

Good night, I have a sleep to catch. 

How may I assist you?

Maybe I should let you see what I look like at work. Too feminine for my taste but if it's pay good, why not? 

I work as a receptionist in an Italian restaurant in the newly opened Solaire Resort & Casino in the Entertainment City in Paranaque. (The first in the area) So far it's good but I know I have lots to learn. But yeah, I'm having fun. 

Four months and counting.

The last time it was the end of 2012. Time flies so fast and I didn't even notice that my probation at work is almost over. You may ask me how's working in a casino- hotel? I would really happy to tell you that's it's much better to drink til 3AM in the slot machine than to stay up until 2 AM smiling and greeting your guests Buon Giorno. It takes a lot of getting used to actually. At first I would end up teary eyed after every shift because of wearing 3 - inch heels for 9 hours ++. (After months of complaining the management decided to allow us to wear 1 - inch heels.) I can now fulfill the duties of an average receptionist in a fine dining setting. (at least I thought I was) and I am developing a love for Italian food. I do love the cuisine. But this time, it's love. 

I'm kinda sleeping now so many I'll cut it from here. I could update this anytime anyway because I gots myself a new and improved Netbook. (That's what they call Laptops now right?)