I was sure that I'm going to live alone with 8 cats. But he happened.
I get a really weird feeling when I look at him.
Every time I look deep into his eyes, I start to believe that fairy tales really do exist. That every silly dreams that I tried to forget is starting to happen. again. Very slowly. I didn't ask for it. I'm okay with the fact that I'm going to end up in a small bungalow house alone with my 8 cats in tow. (at least i'm rich. haha.) But still, he happened.
I thought I changed after a series of bad relationships and traumatic break ups. That I've build a massive defense thingamajig to protect me from bad boys with diabolic intentions. But right now, I feel like I'm the same little girl hoping for her prince charming. That inside this psychotic, controlling bitch is a girl... helpless like a kitten. He makes me excited and terrified at the same time. Excited because I know we are going to have an epic adventure together but terrified because of the blind spots between them. (but where's the thrill if you know what's gonna happen next right?) Old beliefs starts resurface. I am not sure if it's a good thing and I can't stop it from happening. They're all coming back too fast. Ang hirap sabayan. Nakakatakot, kinakabahan ako. I get a little paranoid sometimes. bear with this flaw.
But the thing is, I am extremely happy. he makes me feel like I'm a 14 year old with her high school crush. that I'm living a world of bubble gum and rainbow and unicorns. He treats me like a princess. He made me stop thinking that all guys are assholes. (well, he agreed that my exes are assholes so yeah.. not all of them are. HAHA!) Seriously, He is the opposite of every boy I manage to hate. (whatever that means...)
I'm so happy, that I can shit rainbows and glitters. and I want it to stay that way foreverzz.